The term “organic” is tossed around like a beach ball on a hot summer day. I’m not sure what it means, but I have compiled a list of things that should not be organic:
- Women. Organic women were big in the 1960s. Peasant dresses, hairy armpits and legs….nah, let’s skip the organic female look
- Chickens. Organic free range chicken have their heads chopped off. Factory chicken have their heads chopped off.
- Fruit. Switch the labels on an organic pear and an evil ordinary pear. Taste the same.
- Condoms. Man’s best friend needs to be made of Kevlar. No “oops those goes another rubber tree” for me
- Beer. Like Archie Bunker said, “you don’t drink beer, you rent it.”
- Gardens. Convert to all-organic farming. Watch 100 million people starve.
- Music. Singing bowls are great. For five minutes.
- Clothing. Survives one laundry cycle.
- Gasoline. I like mine with butter and salt popped in a popper. Let’s leave the corn out of the gas tank
- God. If a real organic actual God came down to Earth, bathroom tissue sales would soar. Let’s stick with our synthetic, made up Gods. More fun.
I hope this helps as you try to sort out your organic prices next time you want to pay $12 for a bunch of beets, or $7 for a gallon of Miss Bessie’s Organic Gluten-free milk.
What is gluten anyway, and why do people want it to be free?